is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
