PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
