He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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