I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
