Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize