What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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