yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The air was thick with penises
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
