Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
