He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The adults are the big ones right?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
