Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
