Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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