But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
