i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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