these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
