Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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