I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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