i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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