winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
