he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
