I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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