dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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