Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Randomize
