dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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