That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize