Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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