i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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