there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
