Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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