So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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