i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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