i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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