Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
