I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So much Jack, so little girl.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
