I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
