one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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