I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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