have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
