yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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