Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
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