i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
