I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
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We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
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I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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