I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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