Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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