we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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