My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
