there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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