hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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