I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
