Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's rum buckets o'clock
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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