ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
