apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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