Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
