im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
