yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
