Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
