I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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