The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
