Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
