i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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