Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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