Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
