I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
