Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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