honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
