Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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