She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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