It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
