YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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