Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
