He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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