Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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